Who Am I?

By Kim Bull

I could be your son or daughter, mom or dad. I could be old or young, I could be married or single, gay or straight. I could be gainfully employed or homeless. I could be any race or ethnicity. I could be pregnant. I could be your neighbor. I could be you.

Who am I? I am a representative of the number one health problem facing America today. I am an addict/alcoholic.

Addiction is known by different names: chemical dependency, substance abuse or alcoholism. People who are addicted are known by different names: addicts, alcoholics, junkies, meth-heads, hypes, cranksters, and the list goes on. This topic can generate more discussion, debate, and controversy than just about any other and affects millions of families in America.

Following are some of the primary risk factors which increase the likelihood of a person of any age (but especially at a young age) becoming addicted if they use alcohol, tobacco, or other drugs (ATOD).

• Family history of addiction—if one or both parents, aunts, uncles, or grandparents are addicted- the risk increases


• Early first use of substances—the earlier a person uses a chemical - the risk increases


• Friends who use—having friends who use substances—the risk increases


An individual cannot control their family history. All the more reason to exercise control over those things they can. They can control at what age they start smoking, drinking, and/or using drugs; or they can choose to abstain from those chemicals. If you don’t smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol, or do drugs, you can never get addicted to them. Also, they have a choice whether to spend time with friends who use cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs.

Simply stated: The younger a young person is when they start to use cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs, the faster a person transitions from social using to addiction. Many of the twenty and thirty year olds who enter treatment programs today for help with their addictions report starting using ATOD in Junior High School, at ages 12-14. According to 2007 Highlights for Treatment Episode Set (TEDS), the majority of adults who enter substance abuse treatment reported the age of first use as follows: 12 years or under --and 13 to 14 years—30%; 15-16 years –20.9%; 17-18 years—16.6%; 21 years and above—25%. –In other words, 50% of people are introduced to ATOD before age 17.

When one starts that young, addiction can happen in a matter of months, not the years that it takes someone who didn’t start doing anything until age twenty, especially if there is family history (a genetic predisposition).

Addiction is a true equal opportunity disease. It can affect all people in all walks of life. For most addicts it starts early in their lives. It isn’t what anyone aspires to do. When asked what they want to do when they grow you don’t hear: “ I want to be a meth addict and neglect my children.” Or “I want to be an alcoholic  who can’t stop drinking.” Or “I hope to be a junkie who will do anything for my next fix.”

There are 20 questions you can answer that will help you determine whether you have a problem with alcohol or drugs. These questions relate to common problems with using. Only you can decide if you have a "problem" and whether you want to do something about it.

1. Do you lose time from work due to your using?

2. Is using making your home life unhappy?

3. Do you use because you are shy with other people?

4. Is using affecting your reputation?

5. Have you ever felt remorse after using?

6. Have you gotten into financial difficulties as a result of your using?

7. Do you turn to lower companions and an inferior environment when using?

8. Does your using make you careless of your family's welfare?

9. Has your ambition decreased since using?

10. Do you crave a drink or fix at a definite time daily?

11. Do you want a drink or fix the next morning?

12. Does using cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?

13. Has your efficiency decreased since using?

14. Is using jeopardizing your job or business?

15. Do you use to escape from worries or troubles?

16. Do you use alone?

17. Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of your using?

18. Has your physician ever treated you for using?

19. Do you use to build up your self-confidence?

20. Have you ever been in a hospital or institution on account of using?

If you answered yes to one or more of the above questions you may have a problem with alcohol and/or other drugs.



The following websites are excellent if you want more information regarding addiction and recovery.



SAMHSA.gov

NIDA.gov

Prevnet.gov

Stress and the Holidays

By Kim Hamby
Director of Non-Public Schools

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!   We hear and see this everywhere, but we don’t always feel that way.  Once again, the holiday season is upon us.  It is supposed to be the time of year filled with anticipation, excitement, and joy.  In reality, it can feel like the most stressful time of the year. 

Many of us look forward to the holiday season and experiencing the traditions, decorations, food, and spending time making memories with family, friends, and loved ones.  We are excited to have the opportunity to bring everyone together to share fellowship.  Along with these experiences, we have feelings of stress, anxiety, and being overwhelmed.  We feel a sense of responsibility to ensure the holidays are pleasurable for everyone and that all needs are met.  It is sometimes difficult to know where to begin.  Here are some ideas that may be helpful to consider while getting through the holiday

season.

• Set a spending limit.  Make sure you establish a budget and stick to it.  Many of us are tempted to spend outside of our means and this creates stress and unrealistic expectations for everyone. Be honest with yourself and others of what is realistic and practical for you.  Lack of financial resources is one of the primary stressors during the holidays.

• Do not overextend yourself.   Not only financially, but in time and resources.  It is very easy to over-commit and become overwhelmed by having to be to many different places and provide support for others.  Choose the events and tasks that mean the most to you and fit in your schedule.  It is okay to say “no.”  
  
• Ask for help.  Most people are very willing to contribute time, assistance, food, facilities, and other resources needed to prepare for a holiday event. This can include a family, work, or community gathering.  We all could use a helping hand.

• Get organized.  Set a schedule and stay on track.  Spread out tasks and responsibilities so that you do not feel so pressured to do everything at once.

• Give a gift that is personal or homemade.  Gifts do not have to “break the bank.”  Baked goods, pictures, crafted items, or expressions of caring or gratitude are wonderful gifts.  These gifts are personalized and have sentimental value.  They will be treasured.

• Be realistic.  Don’t feel like you have to create the “perfect” holiday.  Family circumstances may change from year to year.  Some people experience great sadness during the holidays due to the loss of a loved one or the inability to be with the people they love most.  Find new or alternative ways to celebrate the holidays that are meaningful for you and your loved ones.

• Take care of yourself.  Eat healthy, get rest, and take breaks when needed.  Acknowledge difficult situations or unhealthy feelings that may be causing stress and take steps to make things right.
  

The holiday season is the most wonderful time of year.  We have to remember to take care of ourselves and others.  Create a holiday season that is unique and memorable to you and your family.  It will be a different and wonderful experience for each of us.  Happy Holidays!

Autism 101

By Samantha Segars, MFT
Director of Merced Program

Autism Spectrum Disorder is a widely discussed topic these days.  Just defining the term autism can be confusing.  Here's a brief explanation, an Autism 101 if you will.

When professionals use the term autism, they could be referring to autism-spectrum disorders, which encompass a wide range of symptoms.  Autism is often used to refer to all autism spectrum disorders.
The term "autism spectrum" refers to a range of developmental disabilities that includes autism as well as other disorders with similar characteristics.
In general, every person identified as being on the autism spectrum has varying degrees of problems with social skills, empathy, communication, and flexibility. The level of disability and the combination of symptoms varies tremendously from person to person. In fact, two people with the same diagnosis may look very different in their behaviors and abilities.

If someone is talking about your child issues in these areas, don’t assume that your child has autism.  They may be referring to symptoms of an autism spectrum disorder. You are likely to hear terms such as "low-functioning," "high-functioning," "autistic characteristics," "pervasive developmental disorder," etc. to describe behaviors that fall within the “autism spectrum”.   It is also possible that your child shows some odd behaviors or has few friends and doesn’t really care to have friends. 

No matter what the professionals say about your child, it is your child’s unique needs that are truly important. No diagnostic label can tell you exactly what problems your child will have. Finding help should be about addressing your child’s needs, rather than focusing on what to call the problem.   You will only get a diagnosis if a professional feels these traits are seriously interfering with your child’s development.  You don’t need a diagnosis to start getting help for your child. 

As with every child, parents should look to teach skills to deal with the day to day world.  This includes social skills, problem-solving skills, conflict management, and emotion management.  Sometimes, children are resistant to developing these skills when adults try to mold children’s behavior to their expectations for the “average” child.  When your child is different than the average, and multiple attempts at molding their behavior have failed, maybe it’s time to take a different approach.  Perhaps the environment can be molded to adapt to a child’s unique needs instead. 

Sometimes, accepting a child where they are, whether they have an autism spectrum disorder or not, can take an enormous amount of pressure off you and your child and help you both to embrace your child’s uniqueness rather than his or her problems.

November Adoption Month

Article By:
Mary Jo Mastin, Director
Foster Care and Adoption Program

Every child needs a safe and loving home.
Adoption month is upon us!  It is time to reflect on and recognize the fact that many children are in need of a loving home and family.  Whenever I share stories of all of the negative things that are happening to children, the reaction is always the same: deep and sincere sympathy for them.  You can make a difference in the lives of those children and make the world a more positive place.  Remember that children are our legacy, and through this commitment, you not only help a child but it can enrich your life as well.

Foster and adoptive families come in many forms:

• Married or single
• Live in a large or small home or an apartment
• Have biological children or no children
• Are of various ages

In addition they all possess a desire to make a difference in a child’s life and are committed to providing care and/or permanency for a child

Sierra Vista Child & Family Services is looking for families to give children the love and security they need. Call 209-491-0872 for more information. The agency provides training, 24-hour support, and financial assistance. There are no fees required of the parents wanting to provide for the children.

Please attend an informational meeting at:
1619 East Monte Vista Avenue
Turlock, CA 95382
On:
November 4th or 18th from 6:30-9:00 p.m

or in our Modesto office at:
101 Park Ave.
Modesto, CA 95354
On:
November 9th, 18th, 23rd, or 24th from 6:30-9:00 p.m.

Call 209-491-0872 to receive more information or to come to one of these listed meetings.  Open your heart and open your home to a child in need.

Effective Praising

Article by:
Jessica Sappenfield, MFT Intern
Counselor
  School Based Services in Stanislaus County

Use effective praise to teach and encourage new behaviors in children.

Sometimes we get so caught up in a child’s negative behaviors we lose track of the positive behaviors that are occurring.  This creates problems for both parent and child.  I hear all kinds of interesting comments related to praise.  Praise is a very simple tool that can be the cause of great confusion in parents at times.  I would like to take a quick look at some of the questions and misperceptions related to praising our children and briefly highlight some of the benefits involved in this effective tool.

Some parents feel as though their child is so defiant there is nothing to praise.  To praise children requires some work on our part and looking for that glimpse of goodness can be hard to detect, especially when the negative is so blaring and frequent.  Yet there is always something positive present even if it is just a mere gesture.  I find that the individuals who often have these remarks are the parents who are overextended and depleted; they too are often depressed and overwhelmed.   When a parent is in this state it is quite difficult to identify the prosocial (positive social) behaviors present in the child.                                                                     

Self-care and respite for parents is a must with difficult to manage children.  In addition, some parents struggle to praise themselves.  It is much easier for parents to provide praise when they have very positive internal self-talk.

Parents also say that children should know how to behave.  The only way a child learns to engage in a particular behavior is by having that behavior reinforced, which then makes it more likely to occur.  If a child’s behavior is ignored, it is less likely to be repeated.  Expecting our children to behave well without reinforcements and rewards is unrealistic; no good behavior should be taken for granted in children, for then it will disappear.

Children are also not spoiled by praise nor does praise train them to work only for external approval or rewards.   Actually, the opposite is true! Children who are motivated only for external approval and attention tend to be those who have received little praise from adults.  Children who receive more praise develop increased self-esteem and are much less dependent on these external rewards. They too can provide themselves with this positive reinforcement and are more likely to praise others.

Some parents make a point to save their praise for really outstanding accomplishments.   What we can forget in this process is that no one can achieve success without failures.  And often throughout this journey of reaching such achievements, there are many steps involving both successes and failures.  The focus should be on the process, otherwise the opportunity to praise the child may never come.  If we can really begin to focus attention on the act of trying to do a particular behavior, the child’s behavior will gradually shape in the desired direction.  It is important to remember to praise even the most mundane positive behaviors (e.g., speaking quietly and doing what is asked).

Do not combine praise with commands and criticism.  Some people give praise yet, without realizing it, undermine the child by being sarcastic or combining it with a punisher.  This is the most disruptive thing a parent can do when using praise.  It sends the message to the child that they are not good enough and the child often reads with discouragement and stops trying.  Parents need to go back to the goal and remember what it is we are trying to do.

There are also instances where children reject praise; this can be very frustrating for parents.  These children are often somewhat aggressive and very difficult to parent.  They also tend to internalize a negative self-concept because of constant criticism and rejection they may have received.  When presented with the alternative positive view, they find this image difficult to accept and would prefer to cling to their familiar negative self-image.  These children need EVEN MORE praise than other children.  Here again it is helpful to constantly be on the search for positives and help the child begin to internalize a positive self-concept.

Praise can be rewarding, not only in teaching and encouraging new behaviors in children, but in diminishing undesired behavior and in building the child’s self-esteem.  And the parents feel better, too.

Do You Have Children 0-5 Years of Age?

By: Andrew McClure, MFT
Program Coordinator
Early Intervention

If so, they are in a period of rapid growth and brain development.  In fact, according to many experts, this period of a child’s development contains the greatest amount of change of any time in their life.  It is critical that during this time your child be in an environment that promotes healthy brain development and behavior. 

To promote healthy brain development, you and your family should consider developing a set of house rules together. These rules can be reinforced with the idea that they are based in love for the child. Reminders of the parent’s love for the child are a must and should be given in all situations.  Just as we may provide our children with positive responses, we can also expose them to negative elements that damage their development. 

Yelling, put-downs, family arguments and inappropriate exposure to media can all damage your child’s brain development.  These are often adult behaviors that can turn a child’s otherwise positive outlook to one of fear/anxiety, hopelessness/depression or lead to a variety of disruptive behaviors.  Keep your child in an environment where they can learn and maintain a positive outlook. 

Young children learn best in an environment that is patterned and repetitive.  For example, nursery rhymes and songs that young children enjoy are excellent learning tools.  Often these rhymes are repeated over and over again and contain a pattern or beat that can be put to music.  We may not think of it, but these patterned, repetitive responses are the very foundation for early learning.

For more information on promoting healthy brain development and behavior for your child get in touch with Sierra Vista’s Early Intervention Program.  Our consultants can help and guide you in creating a strong early learning environment.

How Will I Know if My Child Is Ready for Kindergarten? Looking Beyond Age

By Samantha Segars, MFT

Director of Merced Program

Choosing what age to start your child in Kindergarten is a personal decision. I find the typical age range for children in Kindergarten is from 4 ½ - 6 years old.  You can check with your local school district to find out the specific rules.  In reality, there are more important factors to consider.

Got skills?

The Basics
The real skills teachers look for are social skills, but academic standards are still important.  It's great if your child can already recognize most letters by sight, can count to 10, identify numbers 1 to 5, and know some shapes and colors.  But teachers want to see your child's ability to get along with other children and their readiness to learn.
Teachers also want to see gross motor skills, fine motor skills, and language skills.  Gross motor skills include the ability to walk, run, and climb.  Fine motor skill include the ability to hold pencils, crayons, and scissors — fine-motor tasks that kids will use every day in school.  Language skills include the ability to hold a conversation and have a good foundation of vocabulary.  But the real focus today is on social skills.

Ready to Learn:

Exploration
Does your child love to learn, to explore and discover new things, ask endless questions and continue working on a task until it’s done?  Encourage your children by helping them explore the world and answering all those questions.   Take them places such as zoos, museums and parks, where they can use their exploration skills.  Show your child how things work.  Encourage them to ask questions.  How you handle your child’s natural curiosity will help them build the necessary skills to start school and enjoy a lifetime of learning.
 
Listening
Do you read to your child? Can your child listen and really pay attention when you read to them?  Can he or she answer questions about the story?  Reading to your child helps them to develop attention skills that they’ll need in school. It also helps build their vocabulary and hear the differences between sounds.  Try to read to your child every day for 20 minutes.  Limit the time they watch TV or play on the computer.
Attention skills are especially important in understanding rules, listening and following directions.  Develop simple rules for your home and provide consistent consequences.

Independence
Children have to be able to help themselves get dressed, go to the bathroom, wash their hands and eat independently.  When your child says, “I wanna do it,” let them instead of doing it for them.  This takes patience, but it’s well worth it when you see them doing these things on their own.  Praise your child for their independence and mastery of these skills.

Be an Individual
Help your child develop their self-concept and express their needs, wants and feelings.

Plays Well With Others:

Whether or not your child has the above skills, your child will need to develop certain social skills in order to succeed in school and in the social world.  From the start, help your child learn the skills of sharing, compromising, taking turns, and problem-solving.

Sharing
Children naturally think they are the center of the world.  They don’t want to and aren’t able to share very well.  With your help, they can learn to share and appropriately express their feelings about sharing.
Encourage your child to practice good manners and be a role model for sharing.  When playing with your kids, have them ask for things with, “May I have that?”  Share what you’re playing with.  Talk about how good it is to share.  When they start to share, praise them.  Talk to them about how hard it is to share their things, but how good it is to share anyway.  Encourage taking turns and respecting others’ things.  Give them experience in groups to encourage cooperative play in groups.

Problem-Solving
Children who play together will have conflicts.  How you teach them to handle it will have lasting effects on how they get along with others.    Be a role model for appropriately handling conflict in your relationships.  If you see your child involved in a power struggle over a toy with a peer, help them figure out a solution.  Encourage them to see the other person’s perspective and acknowledge their feelings.  Developing negotiation and compromise skills and empathy in your child will help them succeed and get along well with other peers and adults. Expect your child to express their frustration and anger appropriately without over-reacting or hurting others.         

Help your child follow through with a project and be creative in solving problems of all kinds.

What if my child needs special help to be ready for kindergarten?
If you find you are concerned that your child is not learning the basic academic skills and may need some extra help, call your local school district office to find out about screening or services for children who have special needs.

The best thing you can do to help ensure your child is ready for school is to make learning a fun and exciting part of every day.  This will help your child be ready for Kindergarten whenever you decide to send them.  It will also help them to have a lifetime of success in school.

Welcome to the Sierra Vista "Sharing is Caring" Blog!

Beginning in September 2010, Sierra Vista Child & Family Services is hosting an informational blog on our website.  This blog will provide information for parents, children, families, and our communities on issues that we all face.  These issues include: ways to raise our children, how to improve relationships with our children, parents, spouses, significant others, children’s schools and our communities. 

The experienced and highly skilled staff of our various programs and our administrative offices will take turns writing in our informational blog “Sharing is Caring”, so that the information coming to you will be sound, usable information that will make life just a little bit easier.  New blogs will appear every couple of weeks. New blogs will be posted every first and third Friday of the month. 

Sierra Vista serves over 22,000 children, families and individuals each year and this is yet another way to assist you in becoming “…stronger and healthier individuals, families and communities,” a key part of our mission.  We are here because we care! 

Judy Kindle, Executive Director